How is this not the headline for every newspaper everywhere?
The plot for the entire Season 7 of HBO’s Game of Thrones has been leaked, people!
Alright, the leak from a reddit user going by the handle <strong>awayforthelads</strong> hasn’t been officially confirmed (but then what leaks ever are?) but there’s a lot of circumstantial evidence for its accuracy, like corroborating leaks from <a href=”http://watchersonthewall.com/”>Watchers on The Wall</a>, HBO’s uncharacteristic silence, and yes, this tweet from Missandei:
You’ve heard of circumstantial evidence, right? I mean, it’s all the rage now, but whatever.
<strong>awayforthelads</strong> has since deleted his account but his gift to humanity (depending on where you stand on spoilers, I suppose) has been reported on by <a href=”http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/massive-game-of-thrones-leak-should-have-hbo-freaking-the-hell-out_us_5820da43e4b0aac624862e44?ir=Entertainment&utm_hp_ref=entertainment”>HuffPo</a> and the <a href=”http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-3915320/SPOILER-ALERT-Entire-plot-Game-Thrones-season-7-leaked-online-story-insane.html”>Daily Mail UK</a>, among others. As far as I can tell tho, no local papers have.
<img class=”wp-image-336 size-full” src=”http://jamesjimenez.com/home/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/The-Door-665724.jpg” alt=”the-door-665724″ width=”590″ height=”350″ /> “Biased media, pfft.”
And while these leaked plot points may read like a really well-thought out fan theory (and there are quite a few out there – hello Jon Snow’s mom!), there is a kind of internal consistency to them that’s difficult to ignore. Having said that, and keeping in mind that those ‘spoiler’ novels didn’t really turn you off from watching the damned series, let’s get to spoiling!
<img class=”alignnone wp-image-348 size-full” src=”http://jamesjimenez.com/home/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/spoiler-alert.png” alt=”spoiler-alert” width=”800″ height=”124″ />
<h4>Ep 1</h4>
The White Walkers are marching on the Wall, being like “here we come motherf*ckers!” In the meantime, Bran crosses the wall, while Tyrion and Daenerys arrive at Dragonstone. In Dorne, Jamie Lannister is turning out to be a decent commander as the Lannister army takes on the Martells and the Highgardens.
<blockquote>Dany is going to Dragonstone first. This will happen at the end of E01. Bran will cross the Wall in E01.</blockquote>
<h4>Ep 2</h4>
Jon receives a raven from Dany who’s summoning all the lords of Westerns. Jon consults with Davos and they agree that they need to go, if only to get their hands on the dragonglass at Dragonstone. Needless to say, dragonstone is the weapon of choice against White Walkers. The two depart, leaving Sansa in charge of Winterfell. In Dorne, the Lannisters are victorious. Olenna admits killing Joffrey and Jamie allows her to commit suicide by taking poison herself.
<blockquote>The Lannisters take on the Martells and the Tyrells pretty easily during the first couple of episodes. Jaime turns out to be a great commander; Olenna acknowledges that she was behind Joffrey’s assassination; Varys doesn’t want the throne. He’s genuinely acting out of a desire to have a king or queen rule that will look out for the interests of the people of Westeros rather than just their own.</blockquote>
<h4>Ep 3</h4>
Tyron meets Jon and Davis on the shores of Dragonglass and the Dothraki commandeer their ships. Jon and Dany finally meet and Dany is all like “bend the knee, man.” Jon refuses and tells Dany about the White Walkers. Tyrion backs Jon up and Dany is eventually convinced that Jon isn’t batshit crazy. Jon agrees to give up being King in the North, swearing fealty to Dany, in exchange for her help against the White Walkers.
In the meantime, Bran arrives at Winterfell and Meera exits.
<blockquote>Meera heads back home after she delivers Bran at WF.</blockquote>
<h4>Ep 4</h4>
Arya arrives at Winterfell, but she’s been busy. If you remember, by the end of Season 6, she’d killed Walder Frey. In Season 7, we learn that she put on Frey’s face and summoned all the Freys. After sending the women away, she proposes a toast and dispatches the rest of the Freys with poison. She then goes off to Winterfell, reuniting with Nymeria along the way and arriving home by the end of the episode.
<blockquote>Arya has become a “killing machine”. First thing she does this season is kill all the remaining Frey sons. After that she heads towards Winterfell and she encounters Nymeria. She arrives at WF at E04.</blockquote>
<img class=”wp-image-340 size-large” src=”http://jamesjimenez.com/home/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/Screen_Shot_2013-06-16_at_12.46.37_AM-1024×576.png” alt=”screen_shot_2013-06-16_at_12-46-37_am” width=”800″ height=”450″ /> This is Nymeria. 12/10 she won’t mind that you left her so you could go gallivanting and become a stone-cold killer.
<h4>Ep 5</h4>
Sam and Gilly, together with bebe Sam, leave Oldtown to head for Winterfell. In Dragonstone, Jorah – whose greyscale was healed by Sam at Oldtown – reunites with Dany while Jon receives a raven telling him that Bran and Arya are at Winterfell. Meanwhile, the returning Lannister army encounters Dany’s army at what might be a siege on King’s Landing.
Jamie, Bron, Tyrion, and Davos meet up and Jamie pretty much ignores Tyrion’s advice for them to give up to Dany.
<blockquote>Jorah won’t have any scenes at Essos next season. He will be cured at Oldtown by Sam. He reunites with Dany by E05.</blockquote>
<h4>Ep 6</h4>
Needing to provide proof of the White Walkers’ existence, Jon takes the Hound, Beric Dondarrion, Thoros, and Tormund to Eastwatch by the Sea and from there, back beyond the Wall, aiming to capture a wight (one of those zombies that make up the White Walkers’ armies) alive. They are, of course, attacked by the White King’s armies which includes a white polar bear (!). The bear kills Beric’s resurrection guy, Thoros, so when Beric dies, well, that’s the end of <em>his</em> story. Surrounded on an island in the middle of a frozen lake, Jon and his surviving mates face certain death when Dany flies to their rescue with her favourite dragon Viserion.
Dany is able to fly most of the living back to Eastwatch, but Jon is left behind. In comes Benjen Stark, also known as Coldhands (Littlefinger’s employees must not like him very much), and gives his nephew the horse he rode in on. Benign keeps the horde at bay while Jon makes his getaway.
Viserion dies too, but is quickly resurrected as the White King’s new ride.
<blockquote>Jon needs to provide proof that the Undead are real. So he goes beyond the Wall with the Hound,Beric,Thoros and Tormund to capture one. They succeed but Beric and Viserion die in the process; Benjen will make a cameo; Viserion will die at the Night’s King hand and be reborn as his mount.</blockquote>
The wight is brought to King’s Landing where Cersei, Tyrion, Jon, Daenerys, Jorah, Varys, Missandei, Qyburn, Euron Greyjoy, The Mountain and The Hound meeting together at the Dragon Pit. Cersei goes mental and agrees to an alliance.
By this time, Euron has already met Yara’s fleet. Yara is taken prisoner, abandoned at the crucial moment by Theon. Euro, by the way, has also killed two Sand Snakes (hopefully not Tyene, the short-haired one who teased Bron to literally within an inch of his life) and captured Ellaria. Theon eventually reunites with Jon, who only lets him live because he had rescued Sansa in Season 6.
<blockquote>Euron’s fleet destroys Yara’s, kills 2 of the Sand Snakes and captures Ellaria. Theon abandons Yara. The ironborn finally lose all respect for him. He has a small reunion scene with Jon. Jon tells him that he won’t kill him because he saved Sansa.</blockquote>
Anyway, Euron freaks out at the sight of the wight and, after being assured that the zombies couldn’t swim, turned tail and fled back to the Pyke.
Despite her approval of the alliance, however, Cersei eventually reneges on her promise of troops. Continuing the trend of her thinking that she’s the smartest chick in the room, Cersei believes that by withholding her armies, her enemies – the pretender Dany and the White Walkers – would inevitably weaken each other, making her eventual conquest that much easier. This thinking disgusts her one-handed brother and, despite believing Cersei to be pregnant with yet another incestuous baby, Jamie finally turns his back on her and rides off to join the other dudes going a-slaying.
<blockquote>They bring the undead to KL(they have a temporary truce with the Lannisters) and they show him to Cersei at the Dragonpit. She loses her shit. She agrees to unite their armies against the WW.But at the last moment,she betrays them and doesn’t send troops,so that the WW will thin out their forces. Jaime is mad and leaves her. He rides North to join the armies.</blockquote>
<h4>Ep 7</h4>
Meanwhile, back at Winterfell, Littlefinger shows Sansa the letter she wrote to Robb Stark where she totally forgets to ask about Arya. With the help of Bran, however, Sansa divines Littlefinger’s true motives – he was playing her against her little sister – and orders his execution by, who else? Arya. As usual, Arya takes to the task with glee.
<blockquote>Sansa realises she’s being played by LF(he tries to set the two sisters against each other) by the end of the season with help from Bran.LF won’t survive this.Arya will be the executioner; Both Sansa and Arya will survive.</blockquote>
Speaking of Bran, he and Sam Tarly figure out Jon’s parentage and that his real name is Aegon. Surprise, surprise, Jon isn’t a bastard either!
<blockquote>We’ll get a flashback from Rhaegar and Lyanna’s wedding.</blockquote>
It turns out Rhaegar had gotten an annulment from his Dornish wife AND managed to marry Lyanna, making Jon the rightful heir to the Iron Throne. Jon, however, has no idea since he’s busy doing the nasty with Dany, his aunt! On a boat! While Viserion, now breathing blue flame, burns down the Wall!
<img class=”wp-image-345 size-large” src=”http://jamesjimenez.com/home/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/maxresdefault-2-1024×576.jpg” alt=”maxresdefault-2″ width=”800″ height=”450″ /> “I know, right?”
<h4>Loose ends</h4>
The leak also sorts out a few loose ends – probably preparatory to Season 8, which will be the last season of GoT.
For instance, the “<a href=”http://watchersonthewall.com/northern-girl-joins-cast-game-thrones/”>Northern girl</a>” that set the web buzzing awhile back with rumours of a Sansa Stark body double will, in fact, be Alys Karstark.
More importantly, Gendry reappears at King’s Landing where he’s back to forging weapons. Davos makes a joke about him “still rowing” when he sees him. Melisandre, on the other hand, remains mostly unseen in this season, sparing her from Davos, who will undoubtedly be in a less humorous mood if he ever runs into her again.
And most portentously of all:
<blockquote>Dany burns a few rules who didn’t bend the knee, including the Tarlys. Tyrion and Varys worry about her turning into a Mad Queen.</blockquote>